Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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