Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
