You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
