Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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