can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
now i know why i became what i already was.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
