I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Randomize
