I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
