yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
