I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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