i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
