The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
