p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
