We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
