did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
