i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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