I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
