This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
