Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
