We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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