Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
