he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
