i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
