Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
