Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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