Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
