I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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