I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
