She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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