lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
