My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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