Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
