I have demons in me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
