They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
