i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
