Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
