Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
