her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
