I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
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