dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
