also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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