thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
