When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
