i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
