wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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