Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
