i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
