would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
