South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
