No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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