I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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